The Lesbian:

How do you tell if a sponge cake is a sponge cake or not? How can you tell if a woman is a heterosexual? Or a lesbian? Or cisgender? transgender? asexual? pansexual? poly? The possibilities are endless. You cant tell…unless you are invited to take a bite…or not. And be sure you know about contemporary consent mores while you are at it.

The Lesbian is my kind of cake.

She is multi layered and complex, yet fresh and fragrant with lemon zest. Moist with organic almonds, and has more substance than the usual light and fluffy hetero housebaked sponge, due to the addition of semolina. She is as pretty as fuck too. Dang.

Layer this with freshly made smooth and velvety lemon butter and whipped cream. Lemon and cream! Oh yes!

The layer of ube creme pattissere is in honour of my dearly missed Filipino friend who passed this year. He taught me about sexual fluidity, acceptance, self love and self acceptance. He oozed class and style and what better way to honour him, than with a thick luscious layer of ube creme patissere wedged between the lesbian layers.

Ube is often used in Filipino desserts and purple is the colour of the Suffragettes. Dont wear purple, they screamed at me when I coming out at 14, people will think you are a lesbian! My god, can you imagine? Society and Community can suck the big balls when it comes to oppression.

But let it be known, that this cake too, is a multi layered, multi dimensional, safe luscious place in which to bury your face.. Nothing bad can happen as you devour, except you may indeed experience bliss. Layer upon layer of surprise and delight. Can you imagine?

Top the whole thing with pavlova. Because, who is not into femme ballerinas - strong, talented, pretty and fit? Who does not want to let the crisp meringue shell dissolve on your tongue, whilst delving into the marshmallow insides. The inner beauty, the joy of true intimacy lies inside that outer shell. Will you ever make it in there?

Finally, sugared violets to garnish. Nobody begrudges the shrinking violet, that has taken the reigns and bejewelled herself with sparkly crystal sugared diamonds.

This beauty is not for sale. She DOES NOT fit in the box, will not conform, and is a tad unstable due to her creamy luscious layers. She also will bamboozle, giggle, wobble and cause exquisite joy if you dare. Go on, make her. Can you imagine? Can you IMAGINE?

Recipe

Lemon Almond Sponge:

8 egg yolks
450g castor sugar
47g lemon juice
Beat with ballon whisk till ribbon stage
147g semolina
67g almond meal
6g lemon zest
Fold in
8 eggwhites
2g cream of tartare.
Beat till stiff and fold in
Divide between 3 geased and lined 20cm springhform tins
Cook 30-40mins in 180c oven (till shrinking away from sides a little)

Lemon Butter:

155g lemon juice
3 eggs
1 egg yolk
170g castor sugar
Pinch salt
Whisk in a bowl over simmering water till thick
Let cool till warm
255g butter
Add cubes at a time to lemon mix in a blender/food processor to emulsify the butter

Cream:

300ml pure cream
Whip until stiff

Pavlova:

4 egg whites
1g cream of tartare
Whip till firm peaks
1 cup castor sugar
Add 1tbs at a time whilst still whipping until incorporated and dissolved
1tsp cornflour
1tsp vinegar
1 tsp vanilla
Fold in
Pile into greased and lined 20cm springform tin
Bake 45mins 150c

Ube Creme Patisserre:

250ml milk
1/2 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp ube essence (purple sweet potato flavour from asian supermarket in the essence section-get some pandan and durian essence while you are at it)
1/2g salt
Bring to boil
25g cornflour
60g castor sugar
1 egg
Whisk together
Pour hot milk over
Return to pan
Stir continuously until thick
Pour into bowl to let cool